Depression: What You Can Do To Get Your Life Back

A discussion about depression can be a tricky thing because people often define it based on their own subjective experience. I've dealt with my own depression for many years and know how frustrating it can be when people who have never experienced a serious depressed state can confuse it with something on the level of disappointment over losing a game or being rejected.

True clinical depression can be as debilitating as any physical illness or injury. For most of us there doesn't really seem to be a permanent cure, but there are many things that can be done to keep it under control, lessen its severity and let one live a normal, even happy life.

Here are some of things that I've learned in my own experience and observed in others:

1. Don't be afraid to reach out for professional help through a doctor, psychiatrist or therapist. They have the resources and experience that can help you. They can also determine if your depression is due to some other factor beyond the normal causes.

2. Remember that you won't always feel this bad. It always gets better, no matter how bad it might appear. If it gets to the point that suicidal thoughts start popping up, it is very important to tell someone else, preferably one who understands depression. There are crisis hotlines available in most places and these can be great resources for help.

3. If your depression is mild enough, you may want to try some OTC supplements, especially 5-HTP and Sam-e. If this doesn't help or your depression is more serious, talk to your physician about anti-depressants and other meds. Do your own research though and realize that it's not a simple matter of taking a pill. Each person has a unique brain chemistry and it can be very difficult to find the right combination of meds at the right dose. Even after finding what works for you it may stop working after a few months. It's almost a necessity that you become an active participant with the prescribing physician in figuring this puzzle out. That means you need to become educated on how these drugs work and learn to observe and record their effects so you can be an equal contributor to your treatment.

4. Become observant of how you think. Think of the brain as a type of computer. When you think and speak negatively you are in fact programming your brain to conform to those negative thoughts. There is a real physical change in the brain every time you think, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say feel, a certain way. It's beyond the scope of this article to explain this in detail, but for a very simple explanation one could say that whenever one focuses on bad feelings long enough, the brain learns to build neural pathways making it easier to feel that way again. Soon you'll fall into that negative mode effortlessly. Eventually it becomes something similar to an addiction to those thoughts/feelings.

The good news is that we can program our brains to feel other ways too by recognizing those thoughts and telling ourselves to stop that line of thinking and focus on something more desirable instead. The deeper the depression the more difficult this can be. Sometimes it's necessary to just fake it and pretend to feel happy. That may feel ridiculous, but the brain can actually be tricked into reprogramming itself in this manner. It's not something that's going to work instantly though. If you've been feeding your brain negative input for years, it's going to take some work and time to undo that. There are many books and articles available that can help one do this. A simple internet search using keywords like "positive thinking brain chemistry" or something similar will lead you in the right direction for getting started with re-wiring your brain.

5. Don't try to deal with depression by drinking alcohol. While drinking can lift the spirits for a while, alcohol is a depressant, and one of the worst things for a depressed person to consume because of its effect on brain chemistry. Instead of a simple hangover, a depressed person may wake up the next day feeling much more depressed. Unfortunately many depressed people try to self-medicate with alcohol and often become alcoholics as a result. Alcoholism and depression feed off each other causing a downward spiral.

6. Diet and exercise can play an important role in depression. For one thing, certain nutrients give the brain what it needs to create chemicals that keep our mood balanced. The brain can't function correctly if it doesn't get the fuel it needs. Since depressed people often self-medicate with alcohol or drug abuse, both of which can deplete the body of nutrients essential for healthy brain chemistry, it may be necessary to take food supplements in addition to eating a balanced diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Constant worry and insomnia can also deplete the body of nutrients. That's why it's important to get plenty of rest.

Exercise is also vital to getting the body to absorb these nutrients correctly. The increased circulation brought on by exercise helps distribute them to the brain. In addition, there is the added benefit with vigorous exercise of releasing endorphins which can function as a natural anti-depressant. And becoming more physically fit helps to improve self-image which plays a big role in overcoming depression.

7. Talking to supportive friends or counselors is very helpful. Sometimes just getting out bottled-up feelings can be very therapeutic. Be careful not to let it turn into just venting for its own sake though and never attempt to bring another person down so you won't be alone in feeling bad. That type of emotional vampirism is not only unethical, but it doesn't work in the long run. It is true that misery loves company, but eventually people will catch on and avoid you. If not, they might end up becoming equally depressed and a co-dependent relationship would develop with them actually contributing to your depression without even knowing it.

It's best to confide in people who are uplifting and can give you a different take on your situation. This could be a good friend, a trained therapist, or spiritual adviser. It's best to avoid both those who are judgmental and those who are willing to wallow in depression with you. Sometimes talk therapy can help us realize things that we were not aware of before and keep you in a positive mind-set. Having a support network is always better than trying to deal with it alone.

8. Explore alternative therapies and try to stay active. Treat yourself to a massage or perhaps a reiki healing session. You may find some alternative therapies to be a little hokey or even weird, but try to suspend your disbelief and just keep an open mind. Many people have found meditation, spiritual discipline, yoga, energy healing, bodywork, and other such modalities to be of great help when it comes to depression. They are all ways of re-wiring our brain away from the depressed state, much like positive thinking. One or more of these might resonate with you.

If nothing else, the exploration alone gets your mind off feeling depressed. Almost any non-destructive activity could be beneficial. Some activities that have helped others include writing, dance, music, sports, learning a new skill, visual art, and volunteering. It may be difficult for those in deep depression to get up and do these things, but setting very small goals in the beginning is a good way to start.

I've tried to outline here a few of the things that have helped me in dealing with depression. It's such a complex subject that entire libraries could be filled with writings on the topic. So this is just an overview of the possibilities that are out there. There is one thing though that I haven't mentioned which is perhaps the most important: having a sense of humor. This is perhaps one of the biggest differences I've noticed between those that tend to fall into depression and those who shrug off all the challenges that life throws at us. Sometimes you need to make a paradigm shift and just laugh when things go wrong. Certainly there are times to be serious, but there comes a point when taking things too seriously serves no purpose at all. That's when we need to find the humor in whatever our situation might be.

A few years ago a flash flood destroyed my house and thousands of dollars worth of merchandise for a business I was starting. I had no insurance to cover any of these losses. Within a few minutes I went from sitting comfortably in my home to standing knee deep in freezing water as I watched my life savings and dreams literally floating away. There was no insurance coverage so I basically lost everything. Perhaps it was the extremity of the situation that numbed my feelings, but whereas I'd normally get depressed over the least little setback, instead I started to laugh. And the more I laughed the less I cared. The predicament I found myself in was so absurd that my only choices were to crawl up in the fetal position and cry or just laugh. Since my entire house had become a big swimming pool and my furniture was floating out the door, there was no place to curl up and cry. So I laughed. And now a few years later I can look back and see that not only did I survive, but I'm probably in a better situation than I would have been if it hadn't been for that flood.

I still take anti-depressants and I have days which aren't as good as I'd like, but I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to take so seriously. Things usually don't go the way we want, but that's okay because maybe what we wanted wasn't what we needed. Nowhere is it written in stone how we should let events affect us. I try to remind myself every day that my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about what happens in life only have as much power as I let them. It's a lot more fun to laugh about it all than it is to cry about it.